Girl Talk Thursday - Booze Booze Booze Booze
Tequila is my drink. I take it "neat, with training wheels" because once in a while I like to order drinks like a total douchebag. I also like it in margaritas, on the rocks, with salt. I think it's criminal to chill it in shots.
I had tequila for the first time when I was 16-years-old. My cousin, with all the wisdom of a 17-year-old, instructed me to chase it with cold pickle juice right out of the jar. (Amazingly, it worked.)
Back then, I was completely clueless about booze. All I knew was that a boy I had a crush on (during my summer vacation to San Diego of course) thought it was funny. So I did it.
Later, in college, I tried tequila more often. Most of the time we bought cheap Mezcal with the worm in it. “Barbecued tequila.” One time, as three of us reached the bottom of the bottle, I carefully extracted the worm and dissected it into three even pieces so that we could all shoot it. (Classy.)
Speaking of classy, I can also recall drinking straight out of a flask in a parking lot, gagging, yakking, and then finding some water so that I could rinse my mouth out to try again.
Sadly, I cannot recall my first shot of Patron. But I know that once I did, I never looked back at Jose Cuervo (which is crap, by the way) or any of the other crappy brands. (My only exception to my Patron-only rule is when I’m having a cheap margarita. Not going to waste Patron on that.)
A good margarita, by the way, should never be made with sour mix. In my opinion. Weirdly, the best I’ve ever had was made at Don Pablos. Their squeeze-a-rita is made with lime juice and powdered sugar. Crazy good. I wish they paid me to say that, but they didn't.
Patron has never let me down. I’m a hangover kind of girl. Like, bad. Like bad times. Like throwing up for six hours while your mom and little sister move you out of your dorm room because you got in a huge fight with your boyfriend the night before and drank an entire bottle of white merlot without stopping to think that hey white merlot isn’t even real it’s some godawful fake wine for girls and no wonder you’re throwing up bad.
Like getting in a fight with your husband and drinking seven martinis on a cruise ship and then getting so sick you have to go to the infirmary for a nausea injection but instead you get diagnosed with the cruise ship disease which you totally don’t have and then you get quarantined for 24 hours while they disinfect your room and you have to prove that you don’t have Norwalk the next morning so you can get off the damn ship bad.
But Patron? Never been sick from Patron. I think it’d distilled from unicorn piss.
What’s your favorite libation?
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29 comments:
Man if I were to veer from my weekly posts for even one reason, this would be it. But, considering my audience, I digress. I need a secret blog that my inlaws DON'T stalk.
Oh man, margaritas.. sometime this summer I want to enjoy one without a squiggly baby in my lap.
I've had some tequila before but didn't care for it. I'm sure it was the cheap stuff.
Patron is pretty good (and perhaps even the best I've ever had), but any tequila makes me feel sick these days.
That said, your blog makes me laugh :)
you are FANTASTIC! if i had posted what i posted last night, i would be all over this mofo.
cheers.
Only another 7 months before I can have a margarita - wonder if someone could prepare one whilst I'm birthing this child?
Wow....you can booze have quite the tumultuous relationship. Patron is like water, goes down smooth. Super yummy.
Hello...my whole blog is about cheap booze (wine under $10 peops!) so this is right up my alley!
When I'm not partaking of delightful reds under $10, I love a Cape Codder---or as you Floridians say "a vodka cran."
Used to love Tequilla, my first friends in FL were all hispanic and used to chase it use an orange sprinkled with cinnamon instead of a lime. My last tequilla indulgence involved puking out my friend's passenger side window on the way home from a dive in Bradenton--sooo classy.
In other news, I'm a drunk.
So, do you have experience in the cruise ship quarantine department?
I've only had tequila twice since my 21st birthday, I'm 30 now. The smell makes me want to DIE. I did 12 shots of, Cuervo I think, the night of my 21st. It was a shot every 10 - 15 minutes. I only know that cause friends took pictures of E.V.E.R.Y shot and there just so happened to be a clock in the background. Needless to say I passed out in the bathroom and that was the end of my night.
So, yeah, no tequila for me. :)
I think we all have one form of alcohol that we're convinced is made from unicorns. Unfortunately tequila isn't the one for me. Every bad hangover has somehow involved the stuff and I can smell it the next day.
BUT! On my recent trip to Mexico (Puerto Vallarta) I got to experience the awesomeness that is the tequila shops. Not only is the stuff tasty but there's all kinds of flavored versions. I'm convinced it's just a PV thing though, anyone else I mention it to looks at me crazy. Oh how I wish I picked up a bottle of the coconut stuff when I was there.
Seriously you are good times girl. This cracked me up.
In college I coined a phrase called "tequila hot." I might have to talk about that in my post later today. But alas, now I must go tend to my screaming 18 month old, who, for some unknown FREAKING reason will ONLY SLEEP if I ROCK HIM and otherwise he's tearing his crib apart and throwing himself against the slats because he's so crazy mad at me.
Now where's that shot of tequila now??!
To be honest I have not had a drink that I have not liked but if I have my choice, Kettle One dirty Martini with blue cheese stuffed olives, please.
Jen - You just named my drink. Ketel One, Extra dirty, Blue Cheese or Feta Stuffed Olives. Talk about tasty!
Tequila and I aren't friends. Vodka, on the other hand, I love.
Ewww..you can have the Tequila. When I drink any kind my stomach gets made and give it right back :P I'll take a straight shot of wiskey instead!
New here but had to comment! That is one of the best errr worst Tequlia stories I have ever heard!!
LOL Great post.
Mmmm distilled unicorn piss.
And I totally had to go check out Nemo and his mermaid dildo chick. Too funny!
Your current 12 Seconds just turned into 48 seconds for me, because I had to watch the eyeballs "Aaaaahh!" again and again.
Also, blissed out, far away sloppy, goofy eyes hugging tequila = <3
Silly is good on you.
I admire your top shelf preferences, although tequila of any sort and I are generally bad for each other....
Tequila and I get along just fine, but if I'm honestly telling where my heart lies, it's in vodka. Polar Ice vodka, to be specific. But really,I'll drink anything that doesn't have RUM in it. Long story.
Tequila. We go way back! Back to the time I blacked out not long after downing a couple of shots. I spend the following week sick as a dog and haven't touched it since not even in a margarita. My drink of choice is beer or wine these days!!
It's great to find a fellow Tampa bay area blogger!
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth from thinking about my Tequila days. Ugh.
I just ventured over here from the Tampa Blogher meetup post to say hello. I'm not going on Sat but I hope you guys have fun!
You're drink is my drink too.
Loves me some tequila, and Patron is my favorite.
i used to be a bacardi limon kind of girl, for most of my life too. then my roomie turned me onto southern comfort and sour mix, oh lordie. and then i got drunk off of chopin vodka. THE END.
Okay, this is so fun, love the idea of Girl Talk.
I went to a cooking class where Tequila was the star of the show. I learned so much, being the Tequila dimwit that I was (am?). Who knew Jose, GOLD, nontheless, was crap?! I always thought "gold" meant good. Patron? Seriously good stuff.
Hey there! My drink o'choice is Ketel One Dirty straight up. Any time ... I figure it's always happy hour somewhere.
I cannot do margarita's. My weakness is white wine. It's also my calorie weakness...ugh
I remember my first shot (or 2) of Patron...but sadly I remember little else afterwards...
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